Stress is an uncomfortable feeling, so we try to do something to make the discomfort go away (eat, distract, and even meet the true need).
|Dr. Inese Millere, April 2013, Italy|
Accept, just let things--emotions be. It is not easy, and it takes courage and some practice.
Imagine that your emotions are like waves – they ebb and flow. Can you notice, watch, feel curious, even embrace them, rather than trying to push them away in some manner?
I find the book When Things Fall Apart, by American Buddhist nun Pema Chodron helpful. She reminds us that in spite of all our carefully-laid plans and best efforts, the only aspect of life we can predict with certainty is change.
Therefore, rather than fighting against forces larger than ourselves to maintain a semblance of control, we're best served by surrendering to the reality of impermanence.
Accepting that we are truly adrift in a sea of unknown. When we do, we realize that the only place where we truly can, where in fact we must, find grounding is in ourselves.
Excerpts from When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron:
" The way to dissolve our resistance to life is to meet it face to face. When we feel resentment because the room is too hot, we could meet the heat and feel its fieriness and its heaviness. When we feel resentment because the room is too cold, we could meet the cold and feel its iciness and its bite. When we want to complain about the rain, we could feel its wetness instead. When we worry because the wind is shaking our windows, we could meet the wind and hear its sound. Cutting our expectations for a cure is a gift we can give ourselves. There is no cure for hot and cold. They will go on forever. After we have died, the ebb and flow will still continue. Like the tides of the sea, like day and night — this is the nature of things.”
Next time you have stress cravings, before following the habitual road, meat your unpleasant emotion, Accept, stop fighting your emotions or stress eating and just let things--emotions be.
Sit with them. This too will pass.
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