What do you do when your job, or your personal life, is a constant source of busy-ness, rushing, nose-to-the-grindstone work, and stress?
Or
what do you do if your life is simple and relatively stress-free, but something
blows up and you are in the middle of chaos and high stress all of a sudden?
Stop
Stressing...Start Letting Go
Let’s
take an example:
I
have a major deadline approaching. It is stressing me out, man! But what is the
source of the stress?
It’s not the work, which is just a series of actions.
It’s not the deadline, which is just a time constraint. It’s my reaction to
those external events — my fear that I’m not going to make it, that I’ll mess
up, that I’ll look stupid or incompetent. This fear that is causing my stress
reaction is rooted in my wanting things to turn out a certain way … wanting to
meet the deadline and get things perfect and look good.
What
if I could let go of wanting things to turn out in a certain way?
This is a fantasy, an
ideal, that I’m holding onto. It might turn out that way, sure, but it could
turn out a dozen other ways, and the truth is I don’t have complete control
over how it’ll turn out.
All I can do is do the work, and the fantasy, the fear
and the stress are only getting in the way. So if I can let go of this ideal,
this fantasy, I can let go of the fear, and the stress.
This
is that I’m still learning about. It’s simply letting go, and in doing
so, you attain a peace of mind no matter what chaos and seemingly stressful
event are going on around you. Again, I’m not good at this yet, but I’m
learning. I’ll share what I know with you.
Letting Go
So these are the steps to letting go:
Notice
why you’re stressed. What external event is stressing you? Why is it stressing you out?
What negative emotion do you have?
Notice what you’re holding onto. If your response is any negative emotion like anxiety or fear, it’s because you’re holding onto something. It’s probably a fantasy/ideal, or wanting to control something, wanting something to turn out a certain way, wishing things would meet the expectations you have. If you’re saying, “He should do this” or “It should be like this” then you’re holding onto an ideal/expectation/outcome.
Realize that it’s not real. This fantasy, this expectation, this wishing you could control things … it’s just made up in your head. To be fair, we all do it. But it’s not a real thing — and it can be let go of.
Notice what you’re holding onto. If your response is any negative emotion like anxiety or fear, it’s because you’re holding onto something. It’s probably a fantasy/ideal, or wanting to control something, wanting something to turn out a certain way, wishing things would meet the expectations you have. If you’re saying, “He should do this” or “It should be like this” then you’re holding onto an ideal/expectation/outcome.
Realize that it’s not real. This fantasy, this expectation, this wishing you could control things … it’s just made up in your head. To be fair, we all do it. But it’s not a real thing — and it can be let go of.
See that it’s hurting you. This thing you’ve made up is causing you stress, which is shortening your life, and making what short life you have less enjoyable. It’s causing pain in your life. Realize this.
Let go. If something you’ve made up is causing pain, why hold onto it? It’s not worth it. By letting go, you release the pain, and are just left with you and the work you need to do.
________________________
What are you waiting for?
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