I would to talk about the tolerations.
Let’s define tolerations as things that bug us, sap our energy and add stress.
It’s a big part of the human condition to be asked to tolerate a lot of things we don’t like. „Don’t complain,”...” Life is difficult....” ...”Don’t rock the boat”...
None of the above is a bad advice.
Being flexible, adaptable, having gratitude – these are all virtues. But sometimes the virtues turn into vices. I am sure you know where it leads – to stress, anxiety and low self-esteem!
Tolerations are holes in your personal success cup... ...no matter how much you put into the cup, the toleration-hole lets it all drain out.
What's draining you? TOLERATIONS! They drain away your contentment and your good fortune. They drain YOU. They make you feel stressed, less attractive to yourself and surely to your boss, co-workers, business partners and clients.
Tolerations are events, people, situations you put up with that drain your energy...that keep you from being yourself and enjoying life to the fullest.
Tolerations are found in all aspects of our life: home/office, relationships/family, clients/customers, pets, car/appliances/equipment, body/appearance....and much much more.
1. Recognize your tolerations.
To give you idea - here’s are some of things you would like to stop tolerating:
- Not enough storage space for all my office files
- A desk full of stacks of papers
- Peeling wallpaper
- A partner who is not unconditionally constructive with my child or children
- Being overweight
- A web page that needs updating
- Hair that doesn’t look good
- A guest bedroom that needs cleaning up (it looks like a storage room)
- A kitchen that needs a dishwasher (and it shouldn’t be me)
- Not enough time scheduled for dreaming
2. Recognize the many actual benefits of toleration.
What payoff are you getting? Is it really something substantial? Or is it simply that you get to avoid standing up for yourself and/or your values?
3. Develop a goal or raise a standard that doesn’t permit you to tolerate in that area.
You could prefer to express this in numbers – how many seconds you’ll allow someone to be boring before you redirect, or stop, their routine; how many hours or days you invest in a thorny project before you tell yourself “Enough. Too expensive. Move on!”
4. Reduce or eliminate whatever consequence you fear or whatever risk you run in ridding yourself of the toleration.
Would super reserves of time, money, space etc. help? Most likely. But sometimes all it takes is a resolve not to be pushed around by fear.
5. Develop a healthy respect for your tolerations.
They might signal an area that needs strengthening: before you eliminate your tolerations, learn from them.
6. Find a support, it could be a friend or a coach.
When you put up with something, it costs YOU: unnecessary costs are unattractive and stressful.
Use your voice. Speak up. Tell your truth. Stop tolerating less than what the wisest part of you knows you deserve.
The benefits of reducing or eliminating tolerations are many: you will feel freer; you will have more energy; you will become more creative; you'll attract better opportunities; you'll strengthen yourself; you'll stress less and enjoy life more. You will be plugging those holes in your personal success cup so that you can be more successful in whatever you do!
Start reducing your tolerations today!